Taking the stress out of co-parenting

Posted by the coparently team on July 31, 2014

Transparent communication is key to successful co-parenting, even if unresolved issues still exist between a separated or divorced couple. Although it is normal for resentment and confusion to prevent you from remembering that your top priority is your children, it’s really important to try and stop allowing heightened emotions to influence your behavior, take a deep breath and step away from volatile situations created by dysfunctional communication.

After custody arrangements are finalized, the stress of co-parenting can further deteriorate lines of communication between emotionally vulnerable moms and dads. Here are some tips designed to help smooth out the wrinkles common to co-parenting so that your children can grow in a stable and loving environment:

1. Every effort should be made to uphold agreements, whether one parent agreed to pay for a child's schools supplies or agreed to pick up the children later than usual. Don't expect the other parent to cheerfully accommodate your change of plans without first discussing these changes.
2. Remember that you and only you--not your ex, your ex-in-laws or anyone else you feel resentment towards--control your emotions and your thoughts. No matter what happens after separating or divorcing, always remain focused on raising happy, well-adjusted children and making the co-parenting process as drama-free and streamlined as possible. Refuse to let yourself indulge in self-defeating thoughts or behaviors. Behind every stressful situation is a bigger picture.
3. Keep those lines of communication OPEN at all times. When co-parenting moms and dads consistently remain on the same page, everybody benefits!

Easier said than done, right? Especially when communicating with an ex-spouse always presents an uncomfortable situation that you wish you could avoid. Wouldn't it be easier if you and your ex had access to an online co-parenting calender that allowed them to make and track changes so that no misunderstandings occur and each parent can clearly see all pick-up and drop-off times?

Using coparently leaves no room for one-sided interpretations of decisions made by either parent. Simple to use and easy to access, coparently maintains accurate records of payments, shared expenses, numbers and addresses of contacts important to your child's well-being (school, doctor, hospital, emergency contacts) and an alert system that automatically informs parents of upcoming appointments, school activities and events relating to the children.

coparently not only keeps you continuously updated on any changes made to the usual schedule but also includes an approval system to prevent last-minute notifications from causing difficult situations. Intuitive, organized and self-explanatory, coparently helps parents avoid common stressors associated with co-parenting by keeping the situation business-like, unambiguous and child-oriented.

In addition to establishing a shared parenting schedule that can be viewed instantly in our custody calendar, you can also give extended family members and caregivers access to information placed on the calendar by either you or the other parent. When everyone involved with keeping your children's lives as stable and untroubled as possible see the same information, the possibility of problems arising from forgotten or misinformation is greatly reduced and in some cases, completely eliminated.

Separation, divorce, custody arrangements and co-parenting are powerful life events that happen to more than half of all couples in the U.S. Although nothing can make these issues seem like a "breeze", coparently keeps those all-important communication lines between divorced or separated parents open and immediately accessible. Not only will you help remove unnecessary conflict with coparently but you will also enhance the lives of those most important to you and your ex--your children.